[Image credit : Len from the Jawbone Radio Show]
As you may have gathered from an earlier post, I’m not so much about holiday music (hey, it’s a secular democracy, deal with it). So it’s perhaps unsurprising that “Chiron Beta Prime” by Jonathan Coulton is one of the very few Christmas songs that I like. This live version features zed equals zee’s very own guest blogger Scott in a cameo as the robot voice.
MP3: Jonathon Coulton (and Scott) – Chiron Beta Prime (live)
It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m in my office, even though I probably shouldn’t be, so I can use my printer and my big monitor. I actually find it kind of amusing to send out letters time-stamped on Christmas Eve – doing my bit to remind people that our culture is pluralistic, not a monolith. But I know that working on Christmas, for many people, is not voluntary. I’m streaming KEXP and they just played this Seattle-centric song by Harvey Danger. Even for an occasionally snarky non-Christmas celebrant, it captures some of the melancholy of working on the holiday.
This song is for my friends Erich, Scott and Ken, none of whom could go home to see their families because they had to work around Christmas.
MP3: Harvey Danger – Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas [amazon]
In response to my ‘Christmas songs for non-Christmas people,’ guest blogger Scott offered up three finds. The first is “Father Christmas,” by the Kinks, which I immediately recognized as a staple of my local alt-rock station. It’s a heartwarming holiday song about getting a job as a department store Santa Claus and being mugged by a gang of kids. Rilo Kiley‘s ‘Xmas Cake’ and Jenny Owen Youngs‘s “Things We Don’t Need Anymore” are both about how depressing Christmas can be if you don’t feel like your life is going very well. The former is mostly just sad (crying in the eponymous cake) and the latter song is heavily leavened with anger (‘Here’s to wishes that’ll never come true.’)
Scott also sent me a song called “I’m Going to Spend My Christmas With a Dalek,” off an album of Doctor Who related songs, Who Is Dr Who. I got 56 seconds in (1:32 to go) before I had to shut it off. It managed to offend me musically, as a fan of Doctor Who (since when do Daleks have left toes?) and, well, as a human (the faux-childish lisp of the singers – yeesh). I think it would be rather fitting if its perpetrators really do get to spend Christmas with a Dalek, since they are pretty low on the holiday spirit and big on the ‘EX-TER-MIN-ATE!’
I can’t actually bring myself to propagate the song further, sorry. There’s enough horrifying stuff on the Internet without my adding to it.
MP3: The Kinks – Father Christmas [amazon]
MP3: Rilo Kiley – Xmas Cake [buy]
MP3: Jenny Owen Youngs – Things We Don’t Need Anymore
So, as you could probably tell from yesterday’s post, I’m not a big Christmas person. My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, never has. Jonathan Trigell puts it well: “I went to a Christian primary school. We all did back then; it was called “school”. At Christmas time, we prayed little-children prayers and sang jolly songs about Jesus. We were credulous children and we believed what the teachers told us.” But it didn’t take. (Nor did the other religions I was raised with.)
Perhaps as a result of this early attempt at indoctrination, my taste in Christmas songs definitely runs towards the twisted, cynical, funny or, really, anything that isn’t religious or heartwarming. “Fairytale of New York,” originally by The Pogues and Kirsty McColl, squeaks in because any Christmas song that includes “Happy Christmas, your ass/I pray God it’s our last” fits the bill. And Pansy Division – well, they’re Pansy Division, and they sing about what they always sing about, with a holiday veneer.
I’m going to post my very favourite holiday song on Christmas Day. But in the interim, I want to hear from you – what are your favourite examples of non-traditional holiday songs? Please post in the comments.
MP3: Pilate – Fairytale of New York
MP3: Pansy Division – Homo Christmas [very NSFW! Also not safe for straight men who are insecure about their sexuality.]
Image: Full story is here.
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